Silver Bells and Egg Shells
by Monroe Happens
Summary: It's Christmas time inside the TARDIS and what better way to celebrate than with food experiments and revenge?


_I'm in the holiday mood which never happens since I live where change of seasons doesn't happen. Blame is on Keeping Up Appearances and Vicar of Dibley or whatever it is called. Here is a sort of but not really Christmas tale of unspeakable horror and uncomfortableness and food experimentations and revenge. You can review this as my early Christmas _gift. Not my best piece mind you . .

* * *

"We're doomed." He whispered with absolute horror. He was pale as his skin would allow and his eyes had grown wide. They sat next to each other at the table and waited their sentence.

"Maybe we can sneak away." She whispered back. She had long since lost all hope of actually being to escape but to say that out loud would only make this a reality and she can't have that.

"No exits. The doors just vanished. We're trapped." He hunched his shoulders and buried his face in his hands.

She turned around and sure enough, the doorway they came through had disappeared! That cheeky little-

"Ah!"

Their judge, jury and executioner had arrived. He came in the room, waltzing about and holding something of unspeakable terror. He placed the said terror in front of both Rory and Amy. They exchanged glances.

"Nice hat." Rory figured perhaps if he had complimented the man he could get out of this.

"Thought it was festive. It matches my cool bow tie." His Santa hat did indeed match his Christmas themed bow tie.

"Well?"

Amy gently poked the dish in front of her and tried to smile. Rory continued to pretend his plate did not exist. He was in a field far, far away from here and it.

"It looks good."

She felt sweat drip down the back of her neck and down her back. She tried not to squirm. She felt his eyes on her and she tried not to look.

"How does it taste?"

"I bet it's delicious." Rory offered. He still hasn't tried the "food."

"You haven't touched it." The Doctor frowned.

"You know who would love this?" Amy asked, turning towards Rory. He shook his head.

"Who?" Asked The Doctor and Rory.

"River. You know, we should find her. Any. . . version of her and offer her a plate. "

"Yes! We should do that. I'll wait. It's rude to . . dine on something this fantastic without . . River." Rory offered.

Amy and Rory nodded vigorously.

"I don't know where to find her without crossing my own time line." The Doctor said.

"Oh! Isn't there time when the Pandorica opened that you could have-"

"No."

"What about the first time you met?"

"The first time we met I was trying not to be killed by a shadow."

"See! You could sneak in, grab her, have this delicious meal and then set her free. I mean back to the evil shadow..thing."

The Doctor appeared to consider this. Was there a moment where he could sneak her away?

"I still cannot cross my own time line. It's first law of time travel."

Amy snorted.

"Like you follow laws."

"When they in-

"Have you ever crossed your own time line?" Rory asked.

"Yes but-"

"Have you crossed it more than once?" Amy asked.

"Yes, how-"

"And the universe still exists."

"When you have your own time machine you can break all the laws you want. You'll have to eat without River." He leaned forward in his chair and waited.

"I'm a vegetarian." Rory tried to sound convincing.

"Good. No meat."

Damn. He picked up a fork and took a deep breath.

"I'm not that hungry." She pushed the plate away and The Doctor pushed it back.

"Just take a bite."

Frack. Amy picked up her fork as well. Amy and Rory exchanged glances again and nearly perfect unison they took a bit of . . it.

"It's so good." Rory's face changed several colors before he run out of the room. The door had returned at this point.

"Well?" He tried to sound innocent. Really.

"You win." She mumbled.

"Win?" He stared at her blankly. Relying on his naivety to appear sincere.

"Everything you wear is in fact cool. Please don't make me eat anymore of your experimental holiday food."

"Including my bow ties?"

He tapped his new festive one and she tried not to groan when she nodded.

"You are the epitome of cool."

"Told you."

Amy rose from her seat.

"I better go check on Rory. Make sure he hasn't thrown up on anything."

The Doctor nodded and Amy left in a rather defeated manner.

There was still the matter of River. She did blow up that cool fez. He loved that fez and there was an unknown amount of time that he could sneak in that library, offer her some . . refreshment and.

Oh.

He smiled.

This was going to be the best Christmas ever.


End file.
